Gertie McDowell, the hapless heroine of The Ping-Pong Champion of Chinatown, continues her misadventures in Lights Out Lizzie.

While seeking repose on a ranch in Texas, Gertie is visited by Wanda Sue, an inmate she met while serving time in West Virginia's Alderson State Prison. Wanda Sue is organizing a traveling show called Christian Ladies of Wrestling. The purpose of the show is to bring folks to Jesus by having wrestlers posing as god-fearing Christians wallop the daylights out of wrestlers posing as sinners. Gertie signs a contract to join the show, and she and Wanda Sue hit the road. But when Wanda Sue steals some tampons from a roadside pharmacy, Gertie suspects that "a girl oughta be more careful about who she lets save her soul."

After recruiting a few more wayward girls, Christian Ladies of Wrestling goes on tour, becoming extremely popular in America's Southwest. Girls pose as Salome, who flaunts the "head" of John the Baptist, Blasphemous Berta, who praises Devel worship, and Haystacks Holly, who is out to steal every woman's husband. While wrestlers pretending to be nuns and angels beat these nonbelievers into submission, the crowds go wild, shouting, "Hit her for Jesus!"

Ultimately, Gertie becomes the "Champion of the World," and is recruited to entertain American troops stationed at Afghanistan's Kandahar Airfield. Billed as "America's Princess," she is matched against Moa the Maurader, a "warring Muslim" whose hobbies are torturing kittens and strapping suicide vests to orphans. The performance is interrupted by a pack of Taliban fighters who infiltrate the airfield and haul away Gertie and Moa for the entertainment of a tribal chieftain. But this time Moa is supposed to win.

Deep in the heart of the Hindu Kush, Gertie is befriended by villagers, learns local ways, and falls in love with an Afghan doctor. Eventually, she begins to question the authenticity of American culture and the humanity of its wars.  

An excerpt from Lights Out Lizzie appears in Literary Stories. In this excerpt, women posing as god-fearing Christians wallop the daylights out of women posing as sinners. https://literallystories2014.com/2024/03/19/christian-ladies-of-wrestling/?fbclid=IwY2xjawG0SiJleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHUG6F5wnqAm_VcdBGLxir-PL7Z3Exwnz5xaCd_4ww8-ZGKcNhy1qvFlCMQ_aem_lrdDtvkfOIQGqtxS-6a6lA#more-36715

Seattle Book Review rates Lights Out Lizzie 5/5 stars. https://seattlebookreview.com/product/lights-out-lizzie/?fbclid=IwY2xjawG0S25leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHf5TitPYxAiA0Tb6x2FlWmmLZbKY4iqQMKqTS7wzJ22CE1LZJSYoBtpcsQ_aem_D8mtZ77rWexQ3l6F6sAl5A

Boook Viral rates Lights Out Lizzie a five-star must read. https://bookviralreviews.com/book-reviews/must-read-absurdist-fiction/?fbclid=IwY2xjawG1gq9leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHXIywh-owso_1Ox1Jjtzg9il4YFMxkLuYK8fJgJYo4_6mHmEuNy1GSiZ1Q_aem_3FiUK5L0ZYUncKMfNf05QQ